It has been a long, hot summer so I have taken the plunge. I have only gone and opened a pub. It is a self service joint. And the locals have been flocking in for free drinks all round.
My garden watering hole consists of four well stocked bars and, in line with the RSPB’s current seasonal advice, there are no meals on offer. So if my customers want to wash down any peanuts they will have to fly off elsewhere.
The drinks choice is also limited, just to water of course, but the thirsty can at least keep coming back for more, and that includes outside normal pub operating times. We are open all hours.
I decided to go for a soft launch of my new venture back in July after weeks of record breaking temperatures in Britain and no hint of any rain. A hosepipe ban and a drought were clearly on the way and, for the second year running, our nearby Summerlands Pond had completely dried up.
My normal bar, a weathered stone bird bath, was becoming increasingly crowded, and some hefty and heavy drinking regulars were crowding out the smaller new customers who were just trying to get some service before they succumbed to dehydration. They were not there for a bust up.
Birdlife
So to help cope with the growing numbers of visitors I half filled an old roasting tin with pebbles before setting it up a few inches above the ground and topping it up with the liquid life saver, bycatch from the tap while I was waiting for the hot to kick in.
I also made good use of a sturdy glass casserole dish. It has hosted a variety of chickens over the years. Now it is tucked under a seat to quench the thirst of any timid birds, hedgehogs, and other unknown nocturnal passers by.
The fourth bar is an unused tall plant pot, sealed at the base, and deep enough for any desperate pond seeking Grey Heron to paddle up to its breast.
I also have a back up fifth bar at the ready in case it is needed. It is an old black saucepan which has already proved attractive to a most unexpected garden species. This was a wandering, displaced Moorhen, who completely surprised me by squeezing inside and sitting happily for half an hour.
On the first day of the official drought, and day two of the hosepipe ban, I settled down quietly to witness the comings and goings between 8am and 9am, when a breakfast time beverage was clearly attracting an unusually high number of birds.
I have found that some of the best bird watching experiences arrive when you just sit, stay still, and wait. Too many people charge off like they are on a boar hunt and then complain they see nowt.
The sitting technique is certainly favoured in places like The Gambia where, in the heat of mid day, it becomes too hot to move. My party there rested in the shade and watched in awe as a huge variety of stunningly beautiful birds emerged from the vegetation to drink from anything containing water, including bowls wedged up high in the trees to tempt the shiest.
Back on and around my now orange coloured lawn, things were hotting up. At least 20 Blue Tits were flitting around from branches to the various bars on offer, forever pausing between sips to check no predators were loitering.
I counted 15 Great Tits too, and more than a dozen Starlings, young and old, swooped in to join the fun, frightening everything else briefly away as they joyously splashed in the stone bird bath.
At the same time two Song Thrushes ventured out from cover and took turns bathing and drinking in the roasting tin. A cautious Wren awaited its turn, and three Robins emerged, two of them juveniles but clearly from different broods. The pub was obviously a magnet.
There were eight House Sparrows, a Dunnock, Blackbird, Long tailed Tits, and a rare visit from an apparently juvenile Nuthatch who might have blunted its bill as it discovered the stem of the stone bird bath was not a tree trunk.
Then two fat Wood Pigeons arrived noisily with a crack of the wings and much commotion, eventually plonking themselves down in the water to cool off. Nothing else could get a look in, and when they eventually departed they kindly left their brown mushy calling cards to cloud the drink. Absolutely no manners at all. I had to intervene to change the water, which always needed de feathering and topping up two or three times daily.
Next up was a Great Spotted Woodpecker who landed at the main bar for a quick drink, wash and brush up.
Other visitors who also took over the establishment during their visits were Crows, Rooks, Jackdaws, Magpies, Collared Doves, Goldfinches and, later in July, a presumed migrating Chiffchaff.
All gave excellent close up views. At the last count I had recorded 20 species visiting the pub and it continues to be a regular attraction for hundreds of individuals. I wonder if they would have all survived without the pub.
One bird I heard was not seen to take advantage of what was on offer. That was a Greenfinch who was regularly heard wheezing in the treetops. Maybe it will pop in for a quick one when we get the all clear to put out peanuts again.
Meanwhile, it is time to celebrate. You will never guess where I am off to.
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This article first appeared in the September 2026 issue of Cranleigh Magazine. Pick up your free copy around the village, or read more at cranleighmagazine.co.uk.
